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Promoting a healthy family environment when a family member has a learning disability

When one member of a family experiences difficulties, often the entire family feels the effects of those difficulties. Raising children with learning disabilities can be stressful for families. However, it can also be rewarding. At Integra, we believe that families can be the most valuable resource for children and youth. Creating and nurturing a healthy family environment will ultimately benefit the child with learning disabilities, as well as the family as a whole. The following are suggestions to assist families in creating and maintaining healthy family environments.

Learn about your child's strengths and difficulties: Families are encouraged to become well acquainted with their child's strengths and difficulties and to understand how the difficulties impact on day-to-day life. It is important to develop ways to live together, as a family unit, accommodating the needs of all family members: the child with the learning disability, siblings, parents and extended family. Focus on strengths and focus on activities that play to the child's strengths.

Look after yourself'stay healthy: A healthy parent is better able to cope with stress. Staying healthy may be as simple as going to a fitness class, going for a walk or sharing a daily phone call with a friend. If you feel that your stress is overwhelming or you are unable to find ways of feeling healthy, do not hesitate to seek professional support.

Look after your marriage or significant partnership: positive communication between partners not only offers comfort and support to one another, it also creates a more consistent parenting unit. It is important for partners to take the time needed to communicate and spend positive time with each other. Partners need to learn to listen to one other, validate one another's feelings and accept that there may be times when your feelings may be different. If talking doesn?t work, partners need to find something to do together that makes both feel good. Remember: parent/partner relationships serve as models for children's relationships.

Communicate within your family: Children feel validated when they are listened to by significant adults. Take time to talk with your children. Remember that siblings may feel stress even if they don't have learning disabilities. It?s important to acknowledge and to validate their feelings too. Create opportunities to communicate with family members: at meal times, at bedtime, while traveling in the car, while walking in the park or walking the family pet, while sharing your common interests, or sharing your child?s interests in play activities.

Be sure to include fun in your family: Laughter and fun are truly some of "the best medicine". Try to find humour in situations. Find out what makes family members laugh: watch cartoons, see funny movies, dress up in costumes, jump in leaves.

Pay attention to everyone's self-esteem: Feeling good about one's self enables us to try our best and to feel hopeful. Catch yourself or your children doing something right. Offer meaningful praise. Self-esteem can offer inner protection during life's more difficult times.

Learn to cope and carry on in the face of outside judgments and criticisms: Comments from the school system, extended family, strangers in public places, suggestions from well-meaning friends can be hurtful, no matter how healthy your family is. Try to find ways to develop a "thicker skin": Increase your knowledge and expertise about your child and about his/her learning disabilities

Learn to separate your sense of competence as a parent from how others perceive your child?s public behaviour or academic competence

Develop confidence in your parenting Parent support groups can provide an opportunity to share your experiences with others who have common concerns and who may have new ways of addressing issues.

Try not to think of yourself as the family with the child with the learning disabilities: Try to keep the learning disability in perspective. Look at it as only one aspect of your child's and family's life.